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NORTHERN VIRGINIA, CONSCIOUS DIARIES IS A BLOG BY TINA UNRUE.
HER POSTS EXPLORE WHAT IT MEANS TO BE CONSCIOUS AND ITS IMPACT IN HER WORLD.

Monday Moment: Smiling Heart

Ever have a time when you were so thrilled for someone that you could cry?  I had just such a moment yesterday.

Yesterday morning, I reminded my daughter that we had a Girl Scout event scheduled at iFly in the afternoon.  (For those that don't know, iFly is an indoor skydiving experience.)  Although we discussed the event at length a few weeks ago, and she seemed excited to attend, yesterday she expressed some serious reservations.  She said she didn't want to do it.  Then, she said she did.  Then, she said she didn't.

The internal struggle between fear and desire was evident.  She wanted to go, but was scared.  I searched for ways to help her make a decision.  I talk to her all the time about fear holding her back from living life and having fun.  (My daughter is not new to anxiety.). So it was a delicate balance for me to push her a bit while acknowledging her very real fears.

I found some videos to show her to ensure she understood as much about the process as I could. We talked at length about which Girl Scout members were going and how long the process would take and more.  I didn't hold a lot of hope that she was going to go.  I was sure I was going to lose my money.

Later, she told me she decided to go.  Although I was surprised, I didn't get too excited.  There was still a way out.  We could get there and she could bail at the last minute.

She seemed fine when we arrived.  I registered her.  She got her wristband.  It wasn't until she put on the jumpsuit, the helmet and the goggles that it started to get real.  I could tell her anxiety had returned and was building.  Regardless, she continued to follow all the actions necessary to prepare.

When her turn finally came, the instructor was at the entrance talking to her.  (I was sitting on the other side of the air chamber, so I had limited visibility of what was going on.). I waited with baited breath to see if she was going to turn around and walk back to the bench without even trying to fly.  But she didn't!  My kid pushed through some serious anxiety and fell right into the instructors hands like she was supposed to!  I watched her with glee as she floated and spun in the air for one whole minute.

After it was over and she returned to the bench, I waited anxiously to get queues as to whether she liked it or not.  Would she opt to do it again (two one-minute trips were included)?  Finally, she looked at me and gave me a thumbs up and a huge smile.

SHE LOVED IT!  I could see her anticipation grow as her second turn drew closer.

I was so thrilled for her that I nearly cried.  I couldn't have been more proud.  Each and every moment like this reduces the power that fear has over her.

Way to go, my baby.  Mommy is so immensely proud of you!  My heart is smiling!  It's a moment I'll never forget.

Be open to what comes.

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