One of the major reasons I write this blog and practice consciousness is in hopes that I can help my seven year old daughter learn the benefits of being conscious way before I did. I had a conversation with her that I'd like to share.
Yesterday, my she told me of a conversation she had with another student. This student is someone with whom my daughter has had an on-again-off-again relationship. I think they clearly want to be friends, but tend to do things that frustrate each other.
After my daughter told me the story, she said she wanted to talk with this student the next day (today) to try and mend the friendship. She told me her ideas about what she would say. I commended her for giving it such thought! I truly was impressed. I then asked if I could give her some other approaches to consider. She said yes. So I did. (I had no idea if any of my guidance would stick, but I offered it.)
Today, my daughter came home and told me she spoke with her friend. She told me she was scared to talk to her, because she didn't want to hurt her feelings, but really wanted the tension to be over ("tension" was not the word she used; I think she said she just wanted "it to be done.")
(I'm pausing to say...PROUD Mommy moment right here people! My kid is scared of flies! Approaching another in meaningful dialogue and considering their receipt of what you're about to say is intimidating and scary to most ADULTS, let alone a seven year old!)
She said the discussion went really well! She remembered some of my guidance, like speaking from her perspective and not placing blame (i.e., using "I don't like it when..." type of language). She also remembered another piece of guidance which was to earnestly inquire about what the other student's feelings/thoughts are when he/she does something that bothers you. I was so excited to hear she did that too! Not surprisingly, the student answered my daughter's inquiry by saying something like, "Sometimes I just have hard moments."
Seriously? Our children can learn to have meaningful dialogue and work out issues if we just take time to teach them. My daughter did her best to try and disarm her friend while approaching her to discuss a sensitive situation, one that these two have argued about repeatedly. And I am thrilled to hear it was received well, and the student responded in an honest manner.
I couldn't be more proud of my daughter. I couldn't be happier that she and her friend have worked things out...for now. This by no means insinuates that all is forever well between them and they'll never fight again. But I am hopeful that their dialogue today made them both feel valued and made them realize that you can work out differences in a positive way.
My heart is happy.
Be open to what comes.