Let's be real with each other, shall we? Parents know the feeling of being "triggered." Our kids do something that we don't like. We may get a hint of irritation, which may glide into mounting frustration, if the behavior persists. (Seriously? Doesn't the behavior always persist?) Or, we may just blow a gasket from the get-go and have no need to leisurely stroll through our emotions.
Yeah, for me, my trigger is whining. I HATE WHINING. I mean it. I HATE IT! It sends me to another place. I'm so amazingly patient with so much. But not this. Not whining.
One reason whining triggers me may be because I'm usually busy. I don't want to have yet one more thing added to my to-do list. (Inevitably, whining turns into something I must address or fix or stop or keep alive.) Another reason it could be a trigger is because I want my daughter to TRY! Just effing TRY! And if she tried, I want her to TRY HARDER...unless something's about to die, in which case I want her to stop.
My daughter is seven. She doesn't whine often. But when she does, I find I have limited patience. Not only do I feel she has the capability to communicate effectively, but she also knows I HATE whining.
So for all the parents that have a trigger, please share the following advice with your kids because it's completely universal, no matter the trigger:
STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!
Be open to what comes.