You ever had one of those days when your kid was a grumpy cat? Ever had one of those days when you were a grumpy cat? Ever experience a time when you BOTH were grumpy cats at the same time?!
Yeah. It happens. We're ALL human.
It happened with my daughter and I recently. She was getting on my ever-lasting nerve with whining about this and that, and making comments that weren't kind. My buttons were being pushed a LOT that day. Her's were too, apparently. I get it. I lash out sometimes too. Although rare, I don't speak kindly to everyone all the time myself.
For me, it's sometimes difficult to allow my daughter the space to show her emotions (and feel safe to do so in my presence) when I feel like her actions are borderline disrespectful. It's a struggle some days to figure out how to handle these moments. I want my kid to know she must respect me, but that it doesn't come with the condition of being perfect. Lord knows I'm not.
So how did I handle things that day? I apologized for my words and actions she felt were hurtful or irritating. She apologized for her own. And we discussed what a respectful tone/dialogue looks like. (BTW...This dialogue — what respectful tone and conversation looks/sounds like — is on repeat. I'm told kids need reminding and lots of it.)
Ultimately, I want to raise a child that understands I respect her and her opinion. I also expect her to respect her parents, teachers, and elders. With that said, respect does not equal obedience. Obedience would be great, and is necessary at times. But outside of limited circumstances, I want her to always honor her own feelings, preferences, and personality and bring that forward in our family. I also want her to know that her imperfection is also welcome. I need mine to be welcome too.
Be open to what comes.