BASED IN
NORTHERN VIRGINIA, CONSCIOUS DIARIES IS A BLOG BY TINA UNRUE.
HER POSTS EXPLORE WHAT IT MEANS TO BE CONSCIOUS AND ITS IMPACT IN HER WORLD.

I Knew Better

Who needs a vacation?!

If I were in a room with you right now, I bet your hand would be flying up in the air and/or you'd shout, "ME!".

We ALL need vacations. Regardless of whether you work in the home or outside of the home, vacations are a means to escape the day-to-day noise or maybe even complacency. Vacations allow us to engage in new, exciting experiences; or free ourselves from the hustle and bustle and just relax. Vacations may also afford reconnection with ourselves, loved ones, and even nature in a way that maybe we don't normally.

While on vacation recently, I was estranged from my normal, day-to-day activities. This was good for many reasons. It was nice to do something different. It was exciting to see family I don't normally see. And, it was refreshing to "break up" with my computer for a bit—definitely something required to connect with those I love.

I definitely connected with family that came in from far and wide (part of my "vacation" was laying my mother-in-law to rest). It was nice to see so many and get to spend quality time with them.

While I'd love to say my vacation was perfect, it wasn't.  Many connection mishaps occurred during the week between my young daughter and I. Argument after argument just tore at me toward the middle of the week. I had to figure out what was going on. Why was this happening? Is this what happens when a girl is about to turn eight?!

No. At least I hope not.

I believe her late nights (where she refuses to sleep in the next morning!) contributed to her short fuse. I also had my own issue. I pulled a muscle in my back right before vacation and relied on Icy Hot to get me through. (I should have bought stock.) I'm certain that played a role in how I responded.

I can't go back and have a re-do; although I wish I could. It would be easy to blame the connection mishaps on my daughter and her alone. But, I'm conscious enough to acknowledge that the arguments didn't fall all on my daughter's shoulders. Most of the arguments were just power struggles...her wanting to have the last word even if it wasn't accurate. (Come to find out, that's typical for her age.) I eventually reminded myself...

You don’t need to attend every argument you’re invited to.
— Unknown

So, although I knew better than to attend the argument, my lapse in judgement reminded me why I practice being aware, being conscious. I'm human and shit happens. I'm just glad I got it together before the last day of the trip.

Until next year's vacation...

Be open to what comes.

Music to My Ears

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